Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
