Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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