Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
