what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
