just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
