you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
