Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
