Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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