she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
