can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
