'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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