At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Ladies don't puke and tell
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
