Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
