I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm bleeding and have questions
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
