We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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