Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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