but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
