he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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