after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
