dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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