I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
