3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i barfeds in our rink
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
