Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
