And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
