he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
