K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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