I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
