WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
So squirting runs in the family.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
