It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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