i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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