and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
