Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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