think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
