I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Dick very happy bro
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
