I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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