Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
