Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
