As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
