Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
