Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
