Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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