Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
