I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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