Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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