you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
