tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
