drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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