I think scott just propositioned me for sex
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
