I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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