Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
