i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
